I am very new to the Christian faith. I'm in the infancy of my walk with Christ and I have learned so much since I devoted my life to Him nearly one short year ago. I do not mean to use that as an excuse, only the rationale onto why I have some very basic paradigm shifts quite often!
My heart's desire these days is not what I would say is a socially acceptable norm for a 19-year-old young woman. Instead of focusing on my degree and where I am in life, I look forward and ahead to a marrying the man I feel God has brought me to and building our lives together. While God is glorious enough to motivate me in school and to give me the sustenance to get through a truly trying time in life, there are so many days where I just want to be past this part of life. I don't want to be broke anymore, I'm tired of being tired, I hate living dependent upon my parents, and I am so sick of resisting temptation and leaving my boyfriend every single night. I don't want to be cooked for I'd like to make my own meals, and to do my laundry whenever I darn well feel like it, etc. (Ahem, a little immature much?)
Do you realize how selfish all of that sounds? Oh, I hate it when I realize that I have been horrendously selfish, don't you? I was reading My Utmost For His Highest last night and God started whispering to my heart about this. I turned to my journal and began to write. My reading last night included a day about revelations God can reveal to our hearts in an instant. It's like a sunbeam straight to your heart on a cloudy day. I realized that God wants me here, and He will alter my situation as life sees fit. Without this part of my life I doubt I would be ready for the things I want (at the very least I could not afford them!). I need to be at a 12-hour a week job, I need to finish my degree, I need more time in general.
I wrote last night that it may not be easy but God never said that things had to be easy. Moses got lost in the desert for 40 years. Jesus Christ carried the cross and died on it for our sins! One of the songs at my church has lyrics that go "He never said that the cross wouldn't get heavy, He never said it would be easy to bear". Well there you go. I always pray that not my will, but my Father's be done. And he's taking complete control of my life. I know that in the end He sees who I can be, not who I am. He knows where I am going and how long it will take me to get there. I have total faith in His plan for my life.
Comments (1)
You have it completely right, "They are well guided that God guides."